Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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