i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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