oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You're like the curious george of whores
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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