As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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