I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
