im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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