i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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