he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she pinky promised me she was 18
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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