some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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