I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When did angry sex become our thing?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I could fuck to npr.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
