I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
