I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
