She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
