You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
