READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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