So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
