He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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