U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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