I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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