just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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