he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize