I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
