youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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