I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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