No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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