i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
