She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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