I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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