then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
