you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
