she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
