do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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