well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
