everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Boobs speak an international language.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
