I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
