a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So much rum. So many feels.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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