I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
