everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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