u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
