He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
