Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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