You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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