You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
