Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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