Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
