today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
should my penis look like a turkey
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
