one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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