found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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