You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
