yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
