omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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