420 ftw
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
