I want to walk on stilts...naked
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
