I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize