he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize