what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
