thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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